In the Small Hours of the Night
by sashicat
Summary: In the middle of the night, T'Pol happens upon Archer in the Command Center.


_I am enjoying reading everyone's stories. They have inspired me to jot a few words down. Unfortunately, I only have a few scenes in my head. I don't have the talent to come up with a complete story like the rest of you._

_I was disappointed that they did not spend more time on Archer's struggle to reconcile his actions in the Expanse. Though I thought that "Home" was well done, I thought it could have been a recurring theme in the 4th season. After all, they spent the whole 3rd season showing the change/growth of his character under the duress of the Expanse. Any ways, this is a scene that could have been done. Thank you for playing._

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T'Pol walked down the corridor towards the Command Center. It was late into the sleep cycle for the ship. But she had slept yesterday and since Vulcans needed less sleep than humans, did not need to sleep tonight. For some reason she was restless. Her attempts at meditation had been unsatisfactory. So she had decided to make some additions to her report on the nebula that she was studying on long range scanners. After the Xindi mission, the command center had remained in tact and had been upgrade with even higher powered sensors and analyzers. But now they were used for research purposes.

The door slid open, the room was dark, but surprisingly all the screens were lit. With her acute sense of smell, she was even more surprised by the smell of human alcohol. She wondered who was working here at such a late hour.

"The room is occupied!" the familiar voice of Archer came from the main control console. His voice was angry, he was displeased at been disturbed. Her eyes tried to focus, but it was dark. His face was hidden by shadows. But it was obvious he had been drinking alcohol.

T'Pol scanned the consoles in the room. They covered all four walls of the room. Every one had the face of a crew member on it. In some cases the screen was split in quadrants to show several faces.

"Captain. I did not mean to disturb you. May I assist you…"

"Do you recognize these faces?" Archer interrupted gruffly.

T'Pol looked again, she did recognize them.

"These are the men and women that died in the Expanse!" Archer answered for her. "Look at them!" Archer's arm panned across the screens.

T'Pol was tasken aback. This was the last thing she expected. When she returned from Vulcan, she noticed that Archer was…better. The haunted look in the back of his eyes that had developed in the Expanse, was gone. Little by little, he was becoming more at ease again. Now this? She did not know what to say. She is Vulcan. Vulcans don't discuss emotions. She wouldn't know what to do. She should go get Trip or maybe Phlox. They were the ones Archer turned to for emotional support.

But she remained rooted to the spot.

"Look at them!" He repeated more quietly. "Look at the wonder. The promise in their eyes. Gone!"

"It is logical to assume that there would not be casualties in such a situation," she tried to reason with him.

"I don't think that "logic" sat too well with their families," Archer answered, his voice heavy with pain.

She tried another tactic. "You have consumed too much alcohol. You are being irrational."

He seemed not to hear her. He reached over and punched some buttons. An image of an Aboreal Xindi appeared on the central screen.

"I looked up the sensor logs. The three Xindi on that moon base were Aboreals. The most peaceful of the 5 species."

He stood up and turned his back to her.

" Sometimes…late at night…I wake up hearing their cries…But, do you want to know the funny thing? It's not the cries of the three soldiers I hear. But it's the cries of their children." The sentence ended in almost a whisper.

"Their children!" Archer whirled around and looked at her.

The suddenness of the movement, the intensity of his pain caught her off guard. She started and took one step back.

Archer stared at her for a long moment. Then he slumped into his chair. His head hanging down.

"See, you can't even stand to be near me any more."

T'Pol was stunned. What was he talking about?

"You Vulcans were right. All those things I did in the Expanse. I must have confirmed everything you have been thinking all along. We are just a rash, primitive species that can't control its violent emotions. We thought that we had come so far. We were so proud of our accomplishments. But, at the slightest provocation, we reverted right back to our baser instincts. Piracy, torture, murder!" His voice was loud and full of self-contempt. He paused again, then. "You must really hate me, " he said quietly, still not looking at her.

"Captain!" T'Pol impulsively reached out and touched his hand. Skin to skin contact. What had she done? An electric jolt shot up her arm. His emotions hit her like a stun grenade. This is why Vulcans shied away from physical contact. Their telepathic abilities manifested themselves through their hands. Pain, self-contempt, shame. She tried to shield herself, but the emotions washed over her. They eroded her self-control. Emotions started to rise in her. Archer did not deserve to feel this way! He had accomplished a great thing! She fought thorough the surface. Here it was. The morality, the integrity, the compassion, the warmth. He knew the name of every crew member. A tidbit about each of their families. Here was the real Archer. The man that she admired. The man she considered a friend.

"No!" she said. Feelings continued to well up in her. Sympathy, admiration, friendship, warmth.

He looked up. The light of the consoles reflected in his piecing green eyes.

"No", she said quietly, "I don't hate you."

He continued to stare into her eyes for several long moments. She had always sensed something about him that was larger than life. It was like he was the "One man that could bring in the future". His strength, his…inner beauty. Beauty? Another emotion rose up from somewhere deep within her. From a place that she shunned to go. It was unfamiliar. It was strong. It was love!

Archer's emotions continued to flow up her arm. They were changing. The pain was softening. Gratitude, respect, friendship, warmth, affection…..love! Did he love her as well? But suddenly Archer pulled his hand away. The abrupt break jolted her.

Archer felt a tingling when T'Pol touched his hand. He had always told himself that it was just surprise that she would actually touch him. He looked up into her eyes. He seemed to get an amazingly clear sense of her emotions. Sympathy, admiration, friendship, warmth. Archer felt grateful for her understanding. He understood that her simple statement meant volumes coming from a Vulcan. He too felt friendship and warmth towards her. Those long, hard months in the Expanse. He had come to depend on her. Her presence had become reassuring, comforting. As he continued to look into her clear gray eyes, he was struck by their beauty. He loved her. And she loved him.

Stop it! Archer jerked his hand away. He was the Captain and she was his First Officer. Thoughts of Mary and Erika flitted painfully across the back of his mind. It was too hard. He could never seem to make it work. Now a Vulcan and a Human? You're kidding yourself! Besides, she was in love with his best friend, Trip. No. He was imagining things.

"You're right. I've had too much to drink." He said thickly.

He decisively put the cork in the bottle of whisky, and staggered to his feet. He turned to leave. Then he stopped, turned around and handed her the bottle.

"I'm sorry…. you had to see this." Somehow that wasn't what he wanted to say.

He staggered out the door without looking back.

T'Pol stared at the closed door for several more moments. She was confused. These feelings were…different than those she felt for Trip. Why was that?

The beeping of the console brought her back to herself. In a fog, she silenced the signal telling her the console wanted to turn off due to lack of activity. She took a deep breath and was surprised to see that her hand was not shaking. She was certainly trembling inside. She took another deep breath, closed her eyes and pushed her emotions down to a manageable level. By the Fires of the Forge! She thought severely to herself. What was she doing? Love Archer? She is a Vulcan! Archer love her? He is her Captain! Surak's ghost! Don't be ridiculous. Her breathing slowed, the trembling began to subside as she regained her self control. It was illogical she told herself firmly. Besides, Trip was the one that loved her.

T'Pol quickly left the command center to go meditate in the quiet and comfort of her quarters. But after meditating for a long time she still felt unsettled. Somehow the logic did not seem quite right. She felt confused. But she couldn't figure out what it was that was bothering her. Maybe she was tired after all.


End file.
